notes on how to end a marriage

-don't ignore your heart.
-only you know what you need to do for yourself.
-don't let insecurities or anyone pressuring you make the decision for you.
-i know how you are. i know you could do it.
-you have the ability to make it work if you want to.
-don't be stupid; don't keep doing what you know isn't working.
-no one can tell you; you need to know it for yourself.
-it is what it is.
-when you know, you know.
-some people don't change. some people are what they are.
-so much of what you've said about Jake over the years has been that he's settling for you, but i totally think you are settling for him. you have much more potential than he does.
-that doesn't mean he doesn't have good qualities..it's not black & white..
-you just see the world differently than Upland, IN.
-you could do something more for your own life.
-that's why people stay in abusive relationships because of love.
-but that doesn't make sense either because if you should love Jake unconditionally why couldn't you be loving someone else unconditionally.
-we're not taught how to look for a partner, a mate in life.
-fuck, we weren't taught anything. certainly not to find someone compatible or someone that's shown us they can love us. it's willy-nilly nonsense. no one taught us to be purposeful in our planning or our growing. we just did what came next. you just got pregnant and had a kid because that's what you do. so you got in a relationship based on being the 17/18 y.o. that went through what you went through. you didn't do it based on who you are.
-when those situations work out, rarely, they do because of coincidence. otherwise this typically is not how the world works.
-that's why i've rebelled against everything i was taught..because everything i was taught was to not use your brain.
-if you use your brain and you decide, it doesn't diminish your ability to be faithful and to love someone for the rest of your life. you're completely capable to stick it out and to remain with someone, even you realize this isn't a healthy relationship.
-there are people out there that you can count on, that you can trust, and there aren't very many. maybe you feel like you need a lot of them. but when you have that one and someone else let's you down, you still have this foundation to come back to.
-we're not taught to be patient to find that person, and we're not taught to be confident in ourselves enough to really be solid in our choice, our beliefs about love and relationships.